The Mustache Rangers

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 86

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:00:49 +0000

Let us lay it on the line. The Mustache Rangers are loved by all. As long as we can agree to that, we will be fine. All other conversation is simply warm sound, after that argument has been put to rest.

The Mustache Rangers argue about clothing once again in this week’s episode. Bring it to your ears.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 85

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:00:51 +0000

It is Monday. You know the routine. Read these words, that have nothing to do with this week’s podcast, and then listen to the podcast. Or don’t read these words at all. It matters not.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 84

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:00:13 +0000

Some things are difficult to believe. For example, jelly is made not of fruit but of tree bark. Training wheels only line the pockets of training wheel producing companies. Night time is when the sun does it with the moon.

It is not difficult to believe that the Mustache Rangers have another podcast episode for you this week. We hope that you love expertly done impressions.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 83

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:00:10 +0000

Good times are not meant to be had. They are to be taken. You can not simply wait for them to happen, or expect that you deserve them. Real men make their own good times. Women probably do this too, but we have not funded any research to prove positive one way or the other.

The Mustache Rangers talks about precious stones in this week’s podcast episode. It is enjoyable for all!

Fan Art: Christopher Jones and Melissa Kaercher

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:09:14 +0000

At long last, wizards Christopher Jones and Melissa Kaercher have captured the Mustache Rangers and shrunk them into tiny hand painted plastic avatars.

This has been a lie, for your entertainment. These two talented creatures are not wizards, but human beings with skills in the graphical arts. The tiny hand painted plastic avatars bit was not a farce, as you can see by the picture. We apologize. We should have made our lies and not lies more clear.

Christopher and Melissa have done art for comics such as Dr. Blink: Superhero Shrink and many others. We are not here to makes lists for you. We have provided you links to their websites. Be not lazy and check out their impressive portfolios yourselves.

Thank you, kind wizards, for returning the Mustache Rangers to their correct fleshy feel and size. Did we say that Christopher and Melissa were not wizards? That was a lie!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 82

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:00:52 +0000

The Mustache Rangers were on one of their many missions last week. Sometimes, duty gets in the way of updating podcasts. But rest assured, the podcast was not late due to hate. There was not hate involved in any way.

The Mustache Rangers love you. They also wish you wouldn’t do that one bad thing you keep doing. You know.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 81

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:00:10 +0000

Every single moment has the possibility of greatness. Instead of sitting there, doing nothing, you could punch the fella next to you. Odds are, they are asking for it. But be quick. Odds also show that he is a fan of the Mustache Rangers and is reading the exact same sentence. You had best hope his brain is slower than yours. Really, isn’t that enough cause for a punching?

The Mustache Rangers bring a spoonful of sass to this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it with a spoonful of Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 80

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:52:54 +0000

Death is never an easy topic of conversation. Unless it is in referring to a squirrel. “Did that squirrel just die,” Benefred Pasterborf would ask. “It certainly did,” Tranzer Fadingtoncon would reply. “Fan-tastic,” Geraldert Fosterpant would add. Do you see? Only talk about the deaths of squirrels and your conversation will be as crisp as an item the is crisp.

The Mustache Rangers refer to non-squirrel death in this week’s podcast episode. Beware its lack of social formalities.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 79

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:00:52 +0000

Rock formations are boring. They are only slightly interesting if they look like something that is not a rock. But still, it’s just a rock that looks like something. Why not look at that thing? Also, if seahorses don’t freak you out, they should. Those things are profoundly messed up.

The Mustache Rangers deal with a situation into this week’s podcast. You will soon find yourself in a listening situation.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 78

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:00:11 +0000

There is little in life more important than a favorite outfit. Scraps of colored cloth can make you feel invincible against the daily tragedy that is life. That statement also leaves out the immeasurable feeling brought upon by a perfect fit. Like everything in the known universe, it all boils down to hugging.

The Mustache Rangers deal with clothing, exciting clothing, in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it with clothes.

The Mustache Rangers in person this weekend

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:54:20 +0000

Gasoline can be expensive, and going to grand mama’s house can cost a pretty penny. Now imagine that Earth is grand mama’s house and you are light years away. That is one pricey trip.

But the Mustache Rangers make this trip gladly and with little to much bickering. The Mustache Rangers will be performing live on a well lit stage this weekend for your enjoyment! Find the details below.

What: Improv a Go-Go
Where: Brave New Workshop
When: September 7, 2008 at 8pm
Price: $1

Did you find the details? Now they are above. Boy, you really are a mess. You should come see some live comedy this weekend. That will straighten you right out. See details above above.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 77

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 09:00:04 +0000

Sometimes the simplest answer is not always the best. For example, if a friend of yours owns something that you would like and you think they don’t deserve, don’t blow it up. That would be the easy thing to do. The proper solution, in this circumstance, is theft. It is not the first place your mind would jump. High explosives are always there to get the job done. But a little bit of time spent on stealing can really increase the amount of things you have.

The Mustache Rangers don’t deal with stealing in this week’s episode. Enjoy it for now!

Featured Fan Art by John Wallace

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:14:19 +0000

Citizen, and relative unknown, John Wallace has taken time out of designing magazine ads for ladies undergarment undergarments (”Two layers, because one is breachable!”) to favor us with his rendition of the Mustache Rangers.

What Citizen Wallace has done here is really quite brilliant. As you can plainly see, Commander Major and First Lieutenant are represented by eggs. Not literal eggs, of course. The drawing seems to be done by simple graphite rubbings, not smeared ovum and membranes. But the Mustache Rangers seem to be represented in egg form, with oval bodies and heads.

Jallace (J minus Ohn plus Wallace minus W) is giving us art and also instructions on creating delicious hors d’œuvres. All you need is eggs, toothpicks, and dried parsley. Lots and lots of dried parsley! Your guests (if you have no friends) will be delighted with your creative and tasty treats! And you, in turn, can thank Jallace.

Thank you, Citizen Jallace, for your support.

Fan art will be accepted from all in the mustacherangers@gmail.com electric message depository.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 76

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:00:29 +0000

The market can be a very confusing place. People are yelling. Monies are exchanging hands. Sometimes there are open mouth kisses. It is a sea limbs, one can get lost. It is good to be tethered and blindfolded when going into a market. In fact, this is a good idea for any situation.

The Mustache Rangers have another brand new adventure today. But, really, what is new anymore? Regardless, you’ll probably enjoy it. Enjoy!

Featured Fan Art by Adam Svec

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:30:59 +0000

Citizen Adam Svec of citizen rock group The Glad Version has taken it upon himself to favor the Mustache Rangers with his non-musical artistry.

As you can clearly see, the picture features some sort of banana in a dress heading towards a flaming egg which is prepared for fertilization. The best art needs no interpretation.

This piece is actually more of a thinly veiled commentary on the over utilization of sandwich holders in non-regulation space vehicles. Citizen Svec is obviously aware of the Mustache Rangers and their heartfelt ties to this cause.

We hope this does not need to be restated, but please please please do not install too many sandwich holders in your custom made non-regulation space traveling vehicles.

Thank you, Citizen Adam, for your support.

Fan art will be accepted from all in the mustacherangers@gmail.com electric message depository.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 75

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:00:03 +0000

The dust has settled, and the Mustache Rangers are back. Rest assured, adventures were being had during the entire absence. There were some incredible happenings. It is a shame you missed them. But, please, do enjoy the most recent episode.

Excuse Our Space Dust

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:03:34 +0000

It seems that in upgrading the software for this glorious website, things become a bit broken. No podcasts can be attached to these posts, which means no new episodes can currently be posted.

Rest assured, there are podcasts to be posted. We just can’t do it! We will get this fixed as soon as possible. And when we say “get this fixed,” we mean we’ll wait around until someone makes a fix and we can implement it.

Hugs and kisses, minus the kisses,
Mustache Rangers Central Command

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 74

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:00:12 +0000

The world is a terrible place and we are all cursed. If you found yourself nodding to the previous sentence, you have failed the test. You can take it over as many times as you would like. We understand that things get heavy.

The Mustache Rangers throw a lot of ideas against the wall in today’s internetpod netpodcastnet. Enjoy it with salted tea.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 73

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:00:07 +0000

The only thing quieter than a rock sitting all by itself is mime pretending to be a rock sitting all by itself. And we’re talking about a professional mime here. Not your weekend birthday party mime. Another note, as long as we’re talking here. Children do not like mimes.

The Mustache Rangers deal with a little silence today, but really there is a lot of talking. Enjoy the interpod netcast.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 72

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 07:00:58 +0000

Every once in a blue moon (when the Lords of America decide to paint the moon, generally once ever decade), you get a really good hamburger. And it kind of makes you wonder why you’ve been eating vegetables at all. But then, the next hamburger you get is just “okay” again. At least you’ll have the memory of that one hamburger.

The Mustache Rangers consume no food in this week’s episode. We hope that information didn’t make you sad.

The Mighty Quote Index

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:09:35 +0000

The creation of a mighty Mustache Rangers quote index is underway. Soon, you will be able to say, “oh drat. I know something funny was said at some point, but can not, for the life of me, remember when it was said.” And then, after you say this, you will be able to use the magic of indexing to help your shoddy memory.

But this process becomes even easier with you, the listener. If you have any favorite quotes, please list them and which episodes they appear in. Then, when your mind eventually fails, you will have electricity and metal to help you remember.

You can leave a comment with your indexable quote, or email the Mustache Rangers at mustacheranger@gmail.com. Either way, thank you for doing some of our work for us. We are very busy killing things that are different from us.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 71

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 10:00:33 +0000

If space were not nothing, it would be totally in your face. It would, for example, be all, like, what is up? It would be quite overwhelming, if it weren’t such a massive amount of emptiness. Given any mass, it would be the person you avoid at most well planned parties.

The Mustache Rangers have another adventure, of sorts, in today’s interpod netcast internet podcast. Cast.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 70

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 10:00:42 +0000

After achieving everything they wanted to do on Earth at the Twin Cities Improv Festival, the Mustache Rangers have once again left fertile ground for the thankless embrace of space. There is no applause in space. There isn’t really anything in space.

The Mustache Rangers bring you an new podcast adventure today, full of action and movement and plot. Or not. Enjoy!

Twin Cities Improv Festival

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:17:28 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are racing time and space to make it back to Earth for the Twin Cities Improv Festival. There may be alien civilizations to conquer, but the people of Earth can have morale issues and need an evening of mandatory cheer every now and again.

The Mustache Rangers will be dispensing cheer as they recount tales of their space adventures live on the Brave New Workshop stage. You should come and enjoy the Mustache Rangers, along with many of the other delightful troupes at the Twin Cities Improv Festival.

You may find your Mustache Rangers related time information below.

When: June 29th, 2008, 8PM CST
Where: Twin Cities Improv Festival
2605 Hennepin Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55408
Price: $10

See you soon, Cadets!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 69

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:00:45 +0000

Get your giggling out of your lungs, because the sixty-ninth episode of the Mustache Rangers is here for our mutual pleasure. If you enjoy the running of marathons, or hate them, or feel no way whatsoever about them, you will enjoy this week’s episode. If you have no feelings at all, then we ask that our deaths be quick and painless.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 68

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:00:24 +0000

As mentioned in the podcast for today, the Mustache Rangers would like your help to spread their words. Today, you can do three things. Tell 5 people about the Mustache Rangers. Digg the Mustache Rangers. Leave positive feedback for the Mustache Rangers on iTunes.

It’s that easy. Do all or one of them, but don’t you dare do none. Now, enjoy this week’s episode!

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 67

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:00:33 +0000

There is a fine line between a point and a line. Now you know geometry. Congratulations.

The Mustache Rangers have their many hands full into this week’s interpod netcast podcast. Enjoy with your favorite beverage.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 66

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 10:00:44 +0000

The people of Earth take the changing of days for granted. They give little to no time considering how the other half live. The space half. Flying from galaxy to galaxy with useless sundials. It was a bad investment.

The Mustache Rangers miss their months in the current interpod netcast episode. We hope that you feel some sort of sympathy.

The Mustache Rangers Punch Out! Live

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:24:03 +0000

The Mustache Rangers are making a special visit to Earth this Friday. It seems that an “improvisational” “comedy” group by the name of Family Night has called out the Mustache Rangers. And as much as the Mustache Rangers enjoy being called out, this night of families said it with a nasty inflection.

And so, the Mustache Rangers will be doing battle with this Family Night on stage, for the pleasure of you! Quick! Find details on this “performance” below!

When: May 23rd, 2008, 11PM CST
Where: Punch Out! at the Brave New Workshop
2605 Hennepin Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55408
Cost: $10.00

Someone will go home crying. If you enjoy crying, you will love this.

If you love the Mustache Rangers, you will make it to this show and make sure that they are not sent home crying. Crying in space can be dangerous, and can lead to death or headaches.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 65

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 19 May 2008 10:00:23 +0000

Danger seems to be the middle name of many a person. The people who claim this tend to spend most of their free time staring at a screen with moving or static pictures. The middle name is wasted on them.

The Mustache Rangers encounter danger in today’s interpod netcast internet podcast. Enjoy the danger.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 64

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 12 May 2008 10:00:28 +0000

One thing is always relative to another, unless you are referring to Uncle Stan. Uncle Stan is not really your uncle, nor is he made up of matter like you or I. Remember that the next time he tries to count your ribs.

The Mustache Rangers explore the things brought by time in today’s podcast episode. Enjoy it without penalty.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 63

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 05 May 2008 10:00:05 +0000

If you have never heard of an iceberg before, let us explain it for you. It is a smallish sort of town made completely of ice. Commerce flows normally, just slower.

The Mustache Rangers deal slightly with ice in today’s podcast episode. Put it into your brain. Now.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 62

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:00:23 +0000

Nicknames are for the strong and the weak alike. However, nicknames serve different purposes for these two groups. Just keep this truth in mind. The strong hand out all nicknames, and the strong hate the weak. Hopefully, this information will help you out of some jam in the near future.

Today, the Mustache Rangers receive nicknames. Enjoy it.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 61

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 10:00:48 +0000

After a week of trying to put a squarish toy square into a roundish toy circle hole, the adventures of the Mustache Rangers are back. In a rare continuation, they continue to continue their storyline from the previous episode. Enjoy it.

Technical Malfunctory

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:20:12 +0000

Apologies to our loyal followers. This weekend, the podcast translation crew ran in to technical difficulties. The podcast for this week has been delayed until the week the follows this week. Please accept our apologies and hunt down those who do not accept our apologies. They don’t have to be such a big jerk about it, after all.

The Mustache Rangers: Episode 60

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:00:24 +0000

There is cult on a distant planet that does not believe in tiptoeing. That may not be a harsh enough way to describe their belief. It is not as if they think tiptoeing exists but they have no faith in it. They actually believe there is no tiptoeing. They throw some fantastic shindigs.

Be careful of today’s episode of the Mustache Rangers. It will certainly be careful of you.

The Mustache Rangers LIVE

mustacherangers@gmail.com (The Mustache Rangers) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 19:49:32 +0000

Often times, the Mustache Rangers will come to Earth and recount their most exciting tales live to a theater audience. Well, there is now a space for all of your Mustache Rangers live performance information.

Simply click on this page for information on upcoming live Mustache Rangers shows.

But click fast! Their next live appearance is this weekend, and the cost to view is but one dollar!