The Mustache Rangers

Apologies to our loyal followers. This weekend, the podcast translation crew ran in to technical difficulties. The podcast for this week has been delayed until the week the follows this week. Please accept our apologies and hunt down those who do not accept our apologies. They don’t have to be such a big jerk about it, after all.

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Often times, the Mustache Rangers will come to Earth and recount their most exciting tales live to a theater audience. Well, there is now a space for all of your Mustache Rangers live performance information.

Simply click on this page for information on upcoming live Mustache Rangers shows.

But click fast! Their next live appearance is this weekend, and the cost to view is but one dollar!

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Mustache Rangers Central Command is taking a informally mandatory survey of the listening public. It is demanded that you please comment on your favorite Mustache Rangers Interpod Netcast, of your own free will. If you would be kind enough to absolutely indicate your preferred episode and your reasons for preference, Mustache Rangers Central Command will not be forced to cause harm to you. Or not cause harm to you.

Your comments can be placed in the comment receptacle. You are wasting our time by continuing to read our words. You need to begin making your own words. Now.

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After many years of deliberation, Mustache Rangers Central Command has decided to approve the passing on of the Moustache Me webnet pagesite link.

The humans who run Moustache Me endorse the sticking of mustaches onto advertisements that have no mustaches. Mustache-less advertisements are an abomination to the Great Mustache. He appreciates all that correct this, in a legal manner.

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The Mustache Rangers are coming to Earth this Sunday to reenact, on the performance stage, some of their greatest adventures. While it may appear that they are making this up as they go along, rest assured these will all be true stories from beyond the stars!

The Mustache Rangers will be appearing live on January 20th at Improv a Go-Go. The show beings at 8pm (show up early, it has been known to sell out) at the Brave New Workshop theater.

The cost to you is one dollar. Did that look confusing to you? Well, don’t be confused. The price is 1 (one) dollar ($). Come and enjoy and come.

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On the first day of 20aught8, the Mustache Rangers interpod netcast reached a total of 25 thousand downloads. What is a download? Who will ever know. But it seems significant.

Mustache Rangers Central Command would also like to celebrate this milestone with words. Thank yous are in order, but have been lost in the holiday shuffle. We apologize for losing your thank yous. But rest assured, they were meant for the loyal listeners and the words will be sorely missed.

Also, in celebration of this arbitrary number, the pre-sale price for Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir t-shirts will extend until the end of this week.

You can order your shirts RIGHT HERE. Don’t miss out on a way to show your friends who is the fashion boss. You do want to be a boss of fashion, don’t you?

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NEW T-SHIRT TO CHANGE WORLD

Rejoice, if you can, for the first official Mustache Rangers t-shirt is almost upon your person! There is no better way to celebrate the Mustache Rangers than with Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir.

Now you can show your friends, enemies, relatives, and relative enemies your allegiance to the health tonic of choice.

ORDER now and receive your shirt for only $15. So get on the internet horn and order yours with the easy to use drop down menu today!

Mens shirts are printed on Crème 2001 American Apparel Fine Jersey Short Sleeve T. View size chart HERE before ordering.

Items are shipped to USA addresses using USPS with delivery confirmation tracking. Items destined for Canada and Mexico are shipped using Air Mail. Shipping rates within North America are $4.20.

Small, XXL, and Ladies sizes can be provided. Please register your interest at mustacherangers@gmail.com

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Sometimes, in the line of duty, the Mustache Rangers are forced to go to Iowa. As you all know, Iowa has not allowed recording equipment of any kind since 1402. Please excuse our lack of adventures this week. If you can not excuse us, then blame Iowa.

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As you well know, the Mustache Rangers are very real and very mustached. However, there are two ruffians going around claiming to “play” the Mustache Rangers as “characters.”

You can listen to the frauds yourself as they are interviewed. Happen on over to the First Crack Podcast and listen to Garrick Van Buren attempt to reveal these frauds.

As always, enjoy.

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Statistically speaking, these are the things Mustache Rangers Central Command knows you are not doing.

• Telling all of your friends and family to listen to the continuing adventures of the Mustache Rangers.
• Joining the Mustache Rangers Cadets.
• Creating amazing pictorial representations of the Mustache Rangers.
• Mixing the Mustache Rangers theme song with some obese beats.

Now we fully understand that some true Ranger fans are doing these things. But for the sake of argument, nobody is doing these things. Even the people who are. We will take you to space court if you claim otherwise.

We request that you do all of these things. Or failing that, doing the entirety of everything. Is that so much to ask? Then the Great Mustache commands it. The Great Mustache never asks. And all of his words appear in red.

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